Pues sí, me siento culpable con mi hijo. No sé si es que hay muchos aspectos de la maternidad de los que no está bien hablar, solo me siento yo así o es que es mejor no mencionarlos por si nadie más está pasando por esto. ¿Te acuerdas cuando escribí en el blog que no podía más? Pues con la culpabilidad me pasa más o menos igual.
Manuel es mi vida, me encanta estar con él, mi felicidad es máxima cuando le oigo reírse a carcajadas, me vuelvo loca de amor cuando lo veo dormir, me enorgullezco cuando aprende algo nuevo… Pero creo que todas las madres sentimos lo mismo, ese amor infinito hacia nuestros hijos. Nos encanta decirlo y demostrar este amor.
Pero también debemos sentirnos libres de mencionar nuestros errores, nuestra culpabilidad… No pasa nada, la maternidad está llena de momentos luminosos y momentos oscuros. Y normalmente vivimos los momentos oscuros a solas, sin hablarlos con nadie no vayan a ser que piensen que somos malas madres. ¿Sólo yo me siento así?
Culpable por cogerlo demasiado en brazos o por cogerlo poco. Porque ve mucho la tele o no lo estimulamos suficiente. Porque no come bien y pensamos que es culpa nuestra. O al revés. Come demasiado, el pediatra nos dice que está fuera de la normalidad, y nos culpamos por haberle dado demasiado de comer (¿se puede dar demasiado de comer a un bebé?). Culpable, culpable, culpable.
ME SIENTO CULPABLE CON MI HIJO
Desde que Manuel nació hay muchos sentimientos que están a flor de piel. Estoy más sensible, soy más paciente, más dulce… y también siento frustración, ganas de llorar y culpabilidad. Son sentimientos, todos, que hay que dejar salir. Si hay que llorar, se llora. Y si hay que reír, se ríe a carcajadas.
La culpabilidad es un sentimiento que tengo que trabajar. Si me siento culpable con mi hijo, hacer hincapié en el porque y solucionarlo. Pero no sé porque, creo que será un sentimiento que siempre irá pegadito a mis talones, para cuando esté despistada, asaltar.
¿Tu también te sientes culpable en algunos momentos? ¿Hay temas de la maternidad que son intocables?
Culpa…si claro que la tenemos todos y todas, por lo que hacemos bien, por lo que hacemos mal, por lo que dejamos de hacer, creo que llega un momento en que entiendes que no se puede hacer todo y todo lo que haces no lo podrás hacer bien, siempre puede haber algo que se nos escapa de las manos, creeme ya con la tercera me he dado cuenta que más me vale fluir con la corriente, disfrutar y no culparme tanto, los niños son maravillosos y no todo debe ser perfecto, habemos madres que trabajamos fuera de casa y ese es nuestra mayor fuente de culpa, pero sabes me sacudo la culpa y disfruto, porque con la culpa acuestas no se goza de los momentos, no se está plenamente ahí para ellos,
besos y sacudete la culpa que el amor de madre es infinito, y más fuerte que todo
Eso es lo que intento cada día, decirme a mi misma que lo estoy haciendo lo mejor posible y que tengo que disfrutar más. ¡Y esto parecía fácil! Muchísimas gracias por tus palabras ¡Un abrazo fuerte!
Claro que la siento, ni de lejos eres la única, yo creo que es de lo más común, pero empiezo a comprender que a veces nos ponemos metas imposibles de perfección infinita en todo y como madres enamoradas de nuestros retoños tendemos a querer llevar esa perfección surrealista al límite.
Porque creemos que algo es mejor y queremos hacerlo así, estimularle como nadie, que coma 100% perfecto, etc.
Pero sabes? ¿Quién marca que es ideal y qué no? ¿Por qué nos autoexigimos tanto?
Quererles, cuidarles, protegerles, procurar que sean sanos, felices y buenos, es suficiente.
No hay que hacer todas las estimulaciones que ves o lees, ellos se estimulan con vuestro día a día, como toda la vida, ni que coma según una guía, yo no como perfecto, no pasa nada, Manuel debe comer bien, no perfecto, confía en su autoregulación, mientras coma variado y sano basta. Y con todo igual. Mírale lo bonito y feliz que está, lo estás haciendo bien y el hecho de que des vueltas al tema es porque no te basta hacerlo bien, le quieres tanto que nada te parece suficiente bueno para él. Nos pasa a casi todas!!!
Limítate a disfrutar porque sino luego te culparás por no haber disfrutado. Como dice la mami de arriba, que fluya. Voy a intentar hacerlo, sin culpa!!!
No sabéis como agradezco vuestras palabras. Tienes toda la razón, lo intentamos hacer lo mejor posible. Nadie es perfecto ni tenemos la guía definitiva y única para criar a nuestro hijo. El día a día es lo más importante, con nuestros errores y nuestros aciertos. ¡Un abrazo muy fuerte!
No, no estas sola con esa culpabilidad, creo que la sentimos todas.
Yo tb me siento culpable por muchas cosas, como bien dices cogerlo demasiado, darle cosas q no debe comer, querer estar todo el rato con él o incluso por dejarlo unas horitas con su padre o sus abus.
Muchas veces NOS hacen sentir así los de fuera: tienes q hacer esto, no hagas eso… pero ¿qué más da lo que digan o piensen? Haz lo que tu creas que es bueno para tu hijo, haz lo que te dicte la lógica y tu corazón, la vida esta para vivirla y ya ponemos demasiadas normas y obligaciones.
Creo que si viviéramos alejados de la sociedad (que tampoco sería bueno) viviríamos sin esta culpabilidad. Hay que aprender a vivir con ella o a intentar alejarla lo máximo posible. ¡Un abrazo!
La maternidad es así, una culpa constante: culpa por dejar que vean tanto la tele, culpa por no tener ganas de seguir jugando, culpa por sucumbir y darles esa bolsa de gusanitos, culpa por desear un par de horas semanales para ir al gimnasio, culpa por gritar, por perder la paciencia, por enfadarte, por ser persona…
Yo lo arreglo pidiendo disculpas a mis hijas cuando hace falta (así ellas también aprenden a) que su madre se equivoca y b) y cuando metemos la pata hay que reconocerlo y pedir perdón) y esforzándome cada día por ser mejor persona.
Ánimo y besos
¡Cuanto me alegra escuchar tus palabras! Hoy le preguntaba a Manu ¿habrá alguien que tenga una paciencia infinita? Y creo que no, o eso quiero creer porque mi paciencia se acaba, mi energía también. Menos mal que tenemos amor del bueno para dar y regalar :) ¡Un abrazo!
Yo creo que es un sentimiento completamente normal, que se produce porque no asumimos que no somos perfectas. Nos sentimos culpables porque pensamos que podriamos haber hecho algo mejor, pero si lo piensas bien, siempre hacemos lo que creemos que es mejor para nuestros hijos.
Tu hijo solo espera de ti amor, por lo que no te preocupes por todo lo demás, porque nunca te echará en cara si le cojiste mucho o poco o si le diste demasiado de comer, pero si no recibe el amor que necesita, si puede sentirse mal algún día.
Un abrazo.
Entonces puedo respirar tranquila porque amor si que hay en esta casa. Mucho muchísimo. Y se lo demuestro con besos, abrazos, achuchones infinitos… Pero claro, la culpa está ahí siempre porque hay días sin paciencia, sin energías, con mucho cansancio… Poco a poco. ¡Un abrazo fuerte!
Yo me siento mala madre cuando el peque llora porque tiene aires y yo pido que lo cojan, me siento culpable cuando imploro que lo cojan aunque sé que se va a poner a llorar porque me duelen los pezones de la irritación de tenerlo 2 horas chupando… Pero lo peor de todo es cuando me siento culpable por las 5 horas que estuvimos separados tras el parto. Igualmente, preciosa, yo creo que es normal: nos ha cambiado la vida y todo es nuevo, así que ánimos y muchos besos.
Respecto a la culpabilidad por la separación tras el parto, esto es algo que nosotras en ese momento no podemos controlar. Hemos hecho un esfuerzo increíble y estamos agotadas. Cada una nos sentimos culpables por distintas cosas pero todas preocupadas por el bienestar de nuestro pequeño/a. ¡Espero que el peque esté perfectísimo y tu también! :) ¡Un abrazo!
A veces es duro y los niños no vienen con un libro de instrucciones bajo el brazo (deberían) pero al final todo sale bien ;)
Al final del día cerramos los ojos y pensamos sí, todo va bien :) ¡Un abrazo!
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