me siento juzgada como madre

¡No me juzgues más!

Pues sí, me siento juzgada como madre. Todo lo que hago, lo que digo, lo que quiero hacer, TODO, es juzgado. Y no son consejos, son imposiciones porque veo la vida de otra manera y quiero hacerlo como yo considero mejor con mi hijo. La comida, la hora de dormir, la forma de vestir… en la maternidad todo se considera objeto de juicios y consejos, pero no, ya no puedo más.

Hace unos días comentaba en el blog que habíamos decidido dejar la lactancia exclusiva materna porque notaba que Manuel no se quedaba saciado. Bien. Decisión tomada entre mi pareja y yo. Como debe ser. Decidimos darle cereales en papilla y fruta. El enano se lo comió todo perfectamente. Pero pensando… me arrepentí de darle cereales. Sí, señores, una madre también se puede arrepentir. Y se puede equivocar. Y rectificar. ¿Hay algún problema? Parece que sí. Hemos decidido darle solo fruta porque considero que con el pecho y la fruta es suficiente. Punto. ¿Porque tengo que escuchar consejos de personas que no están con el niño a diario? Más que consejos, son imposiciones.

Pensaba que al introducir comida (y que me dejaran de dar la lata con que el pecho solo no alimenta) todo iba a acabar. ¡Pero resulta que no! Que ahora porque no le doy cereales, soy mala madre.

ME SIENTO JUZGADA COMO MADRE

Me aconsejan personas que han tenido los niños hace cincuenta años y, lógicamente, las cosas no eran como ahora. Parece que si las cosas se intentan hacer mejor, eres una lista que todo lo sabes. Que vaya tontería no dar pan antes de los seis meses, que porque no se come melocotón como primera fruta, que porque no le doy manzanilla… A ver, afortunadamente hay estudios que mejoran la crianza. Pero oye, que si tu le quieres dar pan a los cuatro meses y manzanilla desde el primer día, ERES LIBRE. Y qué bonita es la libertad de decidir.

Nunca me meto en la vida de nadie, ni digo como tienen que hacer las cosas y creeme que muchas veces me tengo que morder la lengua porque hay cosas… que bueno, todos tenemos nuestra visión de las cosas ¿verdad? Pero confío en la libertad de cada persona de hacer lo que mejor crea porque es SU vida y, en este caso, la de SU hijo.

Estoy cansada, muy cansada. Y creo que en breve voy a empezar a poner al mundo firme. Esto no puede seguir así…

¿Tu también te has sentido juzgada como madre? ¿Eres de callarte (como yo) o desde el primer momento dejaste las cosas claras?

262 comentarios en “¡No me juzgues más!

  1. Te entiendo perfectamente…me pasa con todo loq hacemos como dormimos, porteamos, lo que comemos…todo es susceptible de “opinar”. Lo d los cereales tb me paso, a los 4m empezó el bombardeo. Yo antes daba explicaciones dloq hacia o dejaba de hacer, ahora me callo. Si me dicen algo ya no lucho, asiento y en mi casa hago loq quiero. No merece la pena dar explicaciones ni tratar de convencer a quien no quiere.Compart ver más alla. Unos buenos tapones, y haz loq tu creas q es mejor para tu bebé. Besos

    1. Sí, yo también he pasado de dar explicaciones a callarme y hacer lo que quiera. Pero estoy en un punto en que no me da la gana de “aceptar” consejos que no tienen ni pies ni cabeza. Tengo fuerzas para luchar ¡A ver cuanto duran! ¡Un abrazo fuerte!

  2. No entiendo por qué es tan difícil de practicar el RESPETO. Me siento tan identificada! Incluso escribí un post sobre el tema hace unos días y me dijo una MUJER que el tema le cansaba… Debe ser la única que no se ha sentido juzgada!
    Tú siempre intentarás hacer lo mejor para tu hijo, no lo dudes!

    1. El respeto, la libertad de decisión, confianza en que la otra persona lo está haciendo bien. Es importante no caer en las redes de “consejos vendo y para mi no tengo” y seguir nuestro camino. ¡Un abrazo fuerte!

  3. No hay nadie mejor que tú para decidir lo que es adecuado para el peque. Yo me he sentido juzgada, tanto por otras mamás que tienen niños de la edad de Hugo como por gente que ha tenido hijos hace 30 años. pero ¿sabes qué? que tengo conducto abierto y por un oído me entra y por el otro me sale. Yo no juzgo a nadie por como cría a sus hijos aunque a veces te encuentres con verdaderas barbaridades así que me niego a que lo hagan conmigo. Supongo que por mi carácter paso más del tema, pero si alguien se hace cansino le corto por lo sano y le dejo bien claro que en mi hijo mando yo.
    Hay mucho “padre perfecto” últimamente…
    Un beso!!

  4. Hola!!! yo voy camino a ser madre por primera vez….y esto es lo que más me asusta porque bueno, soy polvorita y respondona y detesto que se metan donde no los llaman.
    Una amiga me dijo que siempre te juzgarán y que a la larga una aprende a invocar paciencia de donde no tienes para no amargarte más el pepino.
    animo….animo y paciencia….tu hijo si es sanito y feliz es lo único que importa…lo que opinen los demás….uffff….

  5. Si,me he sentido juzgada y aveces hasta despreciada por comentar mi manera de hacer las cosas. Hasta que (despues de sentirme muy mal conmigi misma) un día decidí que no iba a contar nada sobre la crianza de mi hija. Las cosas las hago así por que yo soy su madre y mi marido también esta de acuerdo.
    Cuando me preguntan que como le doy de comer a la peque les digo que con cuchara y santas pascuas.
    Antes dabamos tantas explicaciones que parecia que nos estabamos justificando.me han criticado la manera de darle el platano o por que le doy pan si es muy pequeña y se va ahogar y yo sigo subiendo los hombros y pasando de todo lo que me digan. Es mi hija. Fin del asunto.
    Pero hasta llegar a ese punto reconozco que lo he pasado terriblemente mal. No ayuda nada meter mas caña cuando estas en el momento más inseguro de tu vida… espero que pongas firmes a todos lo que se lo merezcan. Mucho animo de una madre escarmentada.

    1. ¡Muchísimas gracias por tus palabras! Tienes razón en que lo mejor es pasar, no contar nada y ya está pero hay días que digo ¿por qué? Si lo estoy haciendo bien, si es mi manera, si estamos en casa felices… ¿por qué tengo que callar como si lo estuviera haciendo mal? Aunque insisto, es lo mejor. ¡Un abrazo!

  6. Aixxx, esto de estar desconectada del mundo… jajaja

    Pues sí, me juzgan, te juzgan, nos juzgan y es que es deporte nacional. Desde que te quedas embarazada eres blanco para que todos puedan decirte lo que piensan sin pensar en ningún momento que sinceramente, no te interesa lo que te dicen, porque cada madre es un mundo y cada bebé un universo. Como madres sabremos lo que les va mejor y lo que a mi me fue bien con la peque, puede que a otra persona no le vaya nada bien y por eso, lo mejor, en vez de juzgar es apoyar y tener la mente abierta y NO METERTE EN VIDAS AJENAS.

    saludos y mucha mucha paciencia.

    1. Lo de meterse en vidas ajenas tendría que ser una ley jeje. No podemos evitar que todo el mundo diga lo que piensa de nuestro embarazo, nuestros niños… ¿pero no véis que me da absolutamente igual? Pues no, no lo deben ver… ¡Un abrazo!

  7. Creo que ew muy cierto lo que dices, especialmente con el tema de la alimentación. La gente impone su criterio machaconamente sin darse cuenta que nos hacen sentir malas madres o incluso inseguridades. Más que consejos, son castigos

    1. Yo añadiría que más que consejos son imposiciones, lo tienes que hacer así porque “mira yo como lo hice, y tan mal no me ha ido”. Paciencia, paciencia, paciencia… ¡Un abrazo!

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  57. Hands down, Apple’s app retailer wins by way of a mile. It is really a large decision of all styles of apps vs a instead unsatisfied choice of a handful for Zune. Microsoft is made up of Designs, specially in the realm of game titles, but I am not certain I might need towards wager upon the future if this element is essential to oneself. The iPod is a a lot improved selection inside that scenario.

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  71. I am going to equipment this analyze toward Two versions of us citizens: recent Zune house owners who are thinking of an enhance, and All those hoping to come to a decision between a Zune and an iPod. (There are other players significance looking at out there, like the Sony Walkman X, yet I hope this delivers yourself sufficient information in direction of create an aware selection of the Zune vs players other than the iPod line as well.)

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  88. Zune and iPod: Utmost us residents evaluate the Zune in the direction of the Touch, yet as soon as watching how slender and surprisingly minor and light-weight it is, I take into consideration it towards be a rather exclusive hybrid that combines traits of either the Contact and the Nano. It truly is incredibly colourful and stunning OLED display is marginally more compact than the contact screen, still the player itself feels reasonably a little bit scaled-down and lighter. It weighs pertaining to 2/3 as much, and is substantially smaller sized within width and top, whilst becoming simply just a hair thicker.

  89. Between me and my husband we’ve owned more MP3 players over the years than I can count, including Sansas, iRivers, iPods (classic & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, etc. But, the last few years I’ve settled down to one line of players. Why? Because I was happy to discover how well-designed and fun to use the underappreciated (and widely mocked) Zunes are.

  90. After examine a number of of the blog posts on your website now, and I actually like your method of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark web site checklist and might be checking again soon. Pls check out my web site as well and let me know what you think.

  91. Do you mind if I quote a few of your posts as long as I provide credit and sources back to your website? My website is in the very same area of interest as yours and my users would definitely benefit from some of the information you provide here. Please let me know if this okay with you. Regards!

  92. Good web site! I really love how it is easy on my eyes and the data are well written. I’m wondering how I could be notified when a new post has been made. I have subscribed to your RSS which must do the trick! Have a nice day!

  93. Between me and my husband we’ve owned more MP3 players over the years than I can count, including Sansas, iRivers, iPods (classic & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, etc. But, the last few years I’ve settled down to one line of players. Why? Because I was happy to discover how well-designed and fun to use the underappreciated (and widely mocked) Zunes are.

  94. Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on the video to make your point. You obviously know what youre talking about, why waste your intelligence on just posting videos to your weblog when you could be giving us something informative to read?

  95. This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like ‘Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of “neighbors” will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune “Social” is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.

  96. Thank you for this article. I’d also like to talk about the fact that it can be hard when you are in school and simply starting out to initiate a long history of credit. There are many college students who are just simply trying to live and have a long or good credit history can sometimes be a difficult thing to have.

  97. Thanks a lot for sharing this with all of us you really know what you’re talking about! Bookmarked. Kindly also visit my web site =). We could have a link exchange agreement between us!

  98. Palms down, Apple’s application retailer wins as a result of a mile. It is really a significant quantity of all sorts of apps vs a alternatively not happy final decision of a handful for Zune. Microsoft includes Options, especially in the realm of game titles, still I’m not certainly I’d need in direction of guess on the long term if this characteristic is significant in direction of oneself. The iPod is a considerably improved selection within just that situation.

  99. Its like you read my mind! You seem to know so much about this,
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  100. This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like ‘Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of “neighbors” will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune “Social” is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.

  101. Thanks for your article. I also think that laptop computers have gotten more and more popular right now, and now are often the only type of computer utilised in a household. Simply because at the same time actually becoming more and more economical, their working power is growing to the point where they’re as robust as personal computers coming from just a few years back.

  102. Concerning me and my partner we’ve owned a lot more MP3 gamers earlier mentioned the decades than I can rely, like Sansas, iRivers, iPods (classic & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, and so forth. But, the final couple a long time I’ve solved down towards a single line of avid gamers. Why? Mainly because I was satisfied in direction of examine how well-designed and fun toward use the underappreciated (and extensively mocked) Zunes are.

  103. Thanks for giving your ideas. Something is that individuals have a choice between fed student loan plus a private education loan where it is easier to go for student loan online debt consolidation than through the federal student loan.

  104. Zune and iPod: Most people compare the Zune to the Touch, but after seeing how slim and surprisingly small and light it is, I consider it to be a rather unique hybrid that combines qualities of both the Touch and the Nano. It’s very colorful and lovely OLED screen is slightly smaller than the touch screen, but the player itself feels quite a bit smaller and lighter. It weighs about 2/3 as much, and is noticeably smaller in width and height, while being just a hair thicker.

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  110. I’ll gear this review to 2 types of people: current Zune owners who are considering an upgrade, and people trying to decide between a Zune and an iPod. (There are other players worth considering out there, like the Sony Walkman X, but I hope this gives you enough info to make an informed decision of the Zune vs players other than the iPod line as well.)

  111. Between me and my husband we’ve owned more MP3 players over the years than I can count, including Sansas, iRivers, iPods (classic & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, etc. But, the last few years I’ve settled down to one line of players. Why? Because I was happy to discover how well-designed and fun to use the underappreciated (and widely mocked) Zunes are.

  112. What i don’t realize is in fact how you’re now not really a lot more well-liked than you may be right now. You are so intelligent. You realize thus considerably relating to this subject, produced me in my opinion consider it from a lot of various angles. Its like men and women aren’t interested unless it’s one thing to accomplish with Woman gaga! Your individual stuffs nice. All the time deal with it up!

  113. The Zune concentrates on being a Portable Media Player. Not a web browser. Not a game machine. Maybe in the future it’ll do even better in those areas, but for now it’s a fantastic way to organize and listen to your music and videos, and is without peer in that regard. The iPod’s strengths are its web browsing and apps. If those sound more compelling, perhaps it is your best choice.

  114. The Zune concentrates on being a Portable Media Player. Not a web browser. Not a game machine. Maybe in the future it’ll do even better in those areas, but for now it’s a fantastic way to organize and listen to your music and videos, and is without peer in that regard. The iPod’s strengths are its web browsing and apps. If those sound more compelling, perhaps it is your best choice.

  115. Hands down, Apple’s app store wins by a mile. It’s a huge selection of all sorts of apps vs a rather sad selection of a handful for Zune. Microsoft has plans, especially in the realm of games, but I’m not sure I’d want to bet on the future if this aspect is important to you. The iPod is a much better choice in that case.

  116. This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like ‘Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of “neighbors” will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune “Social” is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.

  117. Appreciating the hard work you put into your website and detailed information you provide. It’s awesome to come across a blog every once in a while that isn’t the same out of date rehashed information. Great read! I’ve bookmarked your site and I’m adding your RSS feeds to my Google account.

  118. Zune and iPod: Most people compare the Zune to the Touch, but after seeing how slim and surprisingly small and light it is, I consider it to be a rather unique hybrid that combines qualities of both the Touch and the Nano. It’s very colorful and lovely OLED screen is slightly smaller than the touch screen, but the player itself feels quite a bit smaller and lighter. It weighs about 2/3 as much, and is noticeably smaller in width and height, while being just a hair thicker.

  119. The Zune concentrates on being a Portable Media Player. Not a web browser. Not a game machine. Maybe in the future it’ll do even better in those areas, but for now it’s a fantastic way to organize and listen to your music and videos, and is without peer in that regard. The iPod’s strengths are its web browsing and apps. If those sound more compelling, perhaps it is your best choice.

  120. This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like ‘Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of “neighbors” will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune “Social” is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.

  121. Apple now has Rhapsody as an app, which is a great start, but it is currently hampered by the inability to store locally on your iPod, and has a dismal 64kbps bit rate. If this changes, then it will somewhat negate this advantage for the Zune, but the 10 songs per month will still be a big plus in Zune Pass’ favor.

  122. The new Zune browser is surprisingly good, but not as good as the iPod’s. It works well, but isn’t as fast as Safari, and has a clunkier interface. If you occasionally plan on using the web browser that’s not an issue, but if you’re planning to browse the web alot from your PMP then the iPod’s larger screen and better browser may be important.

  123. I’ll gear this review to 2 types of people: current Zune owners who are considering an upgrade, and people trying to decide between a Zune and an iPod. (There are other players worth considering out there, like the Sony Walkman X, but I hope this gives you enough info to make an informed decision of the Zune vs players other than the iPod line as well.)

  124. I absolutely love your blog and find almost all of your post’s to be precisely what I’m looking for. can you offer guest writers to write content available for you? I wouldn’t mind creating a post or elaborating on a lot of the subjects you write about here. Again, awesome weblog!

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