me siento juzgada como madre

¡No me juzgues más!

Pues sí, me siento juzgada como madre. Todo lo que hago, lo que digo, lo que quiero hacer, TODO, es juzgado. Y no son consejos, son imposiciones porque veo la vida de otra manera y quiero hacerlo como yo considero mejor con mi hijo. La comida, la hora de dormir, la forma de vestir… en la maternidad todo se considera objeto de juicios y consejos, pero no, ya no puedo más.

Hace unos días comentaba en el blog que habíamos decidido dejar la lactancia exclusiva materna porque notaba que Manuel no se quedaba saciado. Bien. Decisión tomada entre mi pareja y yo. Como debe ser. Decidimos darle cereales en papilla y fruta. El enano se lo comió todo perfectamente. Pero pensando… me arrepentí de darle cereales. Sí, señores, una madre también se puede arrepentir. Y se puede equivocar. Y rectificar. ¿Hay algún problema? Parece que sí. Hemos decidido darle solo fruta porque considero que con el pecho y la fruta es suficiente. Punto. ¿Porque tengo que escuchar consejos de personas que no están con el niño a diario? Más que consejos, son imposiciones.

Pensaba que al introducir comida (y que me dejaran de dar la lata con que el pecho solo no alimenta) todo iba a acabar. ¡Pero resulta que no! Que ahora porque no le doy cereales, soy mala madre.

ME SIENTO JUZGADA COMO MADRE

Me aconsejan personas que han tenido los niños hace cincuenta años y, lógicamente, las cosas no eran como ahora. Parece que si las cosas se intentan hacer mejor, eres una lista que todo lo sabes. Que vaya tontería no dar pan antes de los seis meses, que porque no se come melocotón como primera fruta, que porque no le doy manzanilla… A ver, afortunadamente hay estudios que mejoran la crianza. Pero oye, que si tu le quieres dar pan a los cuatro meses y manzanilla desde el primer día, ERES LIBRE. Y qué bonita es la libertad de decidir.

Nunca me meto en la vida de nadie, ni digo como tienen que hacer las cosas y creeme que muchas veces me tengo que morder la lengua porque hay cosas… que bueno, todos tenemos nuestra visión de las cosas ¿verdad? Pero confío en la libertad de cada persona de hacer lo que mejor crea porque es SU vida y, en este caso, la de SU hijo.

Estoy cansada, muy cansada. Y creo que en breve voy a empezar a poner al mundo firme. Esto no puede seguir así…

¿Tu también te has sentido juzgada como madre? ¿Eres de callarte (como yo) o desde el primer momento dejaste las cosas claras?

125 comentarios en “¡No me juzgues más!

  1. Te entiendo perfectamente…me pasa con todo loq hacemos como dormimos, porteamos, lo que comemos…todo es susceptible de “opinar”. Lo d los cereales tb me paso, a los 4m empezó el bombardeo. Yo antes daba explicaciones dloq hacia o dejaba de hacer, ahora me callo. Si me dicen algo ya no lucho, asiento y en mi casa hago loq quiero. No merece la pena dar explicaciones ni tratar de convencer a quien no quiere.Compart ver más alla. Unos buenos tapones, y haz loq tu creas q es mejor para tu bebé. Besos

    1. Sí, yo también he pasado de dar explicaciones a callarme y hacer lo que quiera. Pero estoy en un punto en que no me da la gana de “aceptar” consejos que no tienen ni pies ni cabeza. Tengo fuerzas para luchar ¡A ver cuanto duran! ¡Un abrazo fuerte!

  2. No entiendo por qué es tan difícil de practicar el RESPETO. Me siento tan identificada! Incluso escribí un post sobre el tema hace unos días y me dijo una MUJER que el tema le cansaba… Debe ser la única que no se ha sentido juzgada!
    Tú siempre intentarás hacer lo mejor para tu hijo, no lo dudes!

    1. El respeto, la libertad de decisión, confianza en que la otra persona lo está haciendo bien. Es importante no caer en las redes de “consejos vendo y para mi no tengo” y seguir nuestro camino. ¡Un abrazo fuerte!

  3. No hay nadie mejor que tú para decidir lo que es adecuado para el peque. Yo me he sentido juzgada, tanto por otras mamás que tienen niños de la edad de Hugo como por gente que ha tenido hijos hace 30 años. pero ¿sabes qué? que tengo conducto abierto y por un oído me entra y por el otro me sale. Yo no juzgo a nadie por como cría a sus hijos aunque a veces te encuentres con verdaderas barbaridades así que me niego a que lo hagan conmigo. Supongo que por mi carácter paso más del tema, pero si alguien se hace cansino le corto por lo sano y le dejo bien claro que en mi hijo mando yo.
    Hay mucho “padre perfecto” últimamente…
    Un beso!!

  4. Hola!!! yo voy camino a ser madre por primera vez….y esto es lo que más me asusta porque bueno, soy polvorita y respondona y detesto que se metan donde no los llaman.
    Una amiga me dijo que siempre te juzgarán y que a la larga una aprende a invocar paciencia de donde no tienes para no amargarte más el pepino.
    animo….animo y paciencia….tu hijo si es sanito y feliz es lo único que importa…lo que opinen los demás….uffff….

  5. Si,me he sentido juzgada y aveces hasta despreciada por comentar mi manera de hacer las cosas. Hasta que (despues de sentirme muy mal conmigi misma) un día decidí que no iba a contar nada sobre la crianza de mi hija. Las cosas las hago así por que yo soy su madre y mi marido también esta de acuerdo.
    Cuando me preguntan que como le doy de comer a la peque les digo que con cuchara y santas pascuas.
    Antes dabamos tantas explicaciones que parecia que nos estabamos justificando.me han criticado la manera de darle el platano o por que le doy pan si es muy pequeña y se va ahogar y yo sigo subiendo los hombros y pasando de todo lo que me digan. Es mi hija. Fin del asunto.
    Pero hasta llegar a ese punto reconozco que lo he pasado terriblemente mal. No ayuda nada meter mas caña cuando estas en el momento más inseguro de tu vida… espero que pongas firmes a todos lo que se lo merezcan. Mucho animo de una madre escarmentada.

    1. ¡Muchísimas gracias por tus palabras! Tienes razón en que lo mejor es pasar, no contar nada y ya está pero hay días que digo ¿por qué? Si lo estoy haciendo bien, si es mi manera, si estamos en casa felices… ¿por qué tengo que callar como si lo estuviera haciendo mal? Aunque insisto, es lo mejor. ¡Un abrazo!

  6. Aixxx, esto de estar desconectada del mundo… jajaja

    Pues sí, me juzgan, te juzgan, nos juzgan y es que es deporte nacional. Desde que te quedas embarazada eres blanco para que todos puedan decirte lo que piensan sin pensar en ningún momento que sinceramente, no te interesa lo que te dicen, porque cada madre es un mundo y cada bebé un universo. Como madres sabremos lo que les va mejor y lo que a mi me fue bien con la peque, puede que a otra persona no le vaya nada bien y por eso, lo mejor, en vez de juzgar es apoyar y tener la mente abierta y NO METERTE EN VIDAS AJENAS.

    saludos y mucha mucha paciencia.

    1. Lo de meterse en vidas ajenas tendría que ser una ley jeje. No podemos evitar que todo el mundo diga lo que piensa de nuestro embarazo, nuestros niños… ¿pero no véis que me da absolutamente igual? Pues no, no lo deben ver… ¡Un abrazo!

  7. Creo que ew muy cierto lo que dices, especialmente con el tema de la alimentación. La gente impone su criterio machaconamente sin darse cuenta que nos hacen sentir malas madres o incluso inseguridades. Más que consejos, son castigos

    1. Yo añadiría que más que consejos son imposiciones, lo tienes que hacer así porque “mira yo como lo hice, y tan mal no me ha ido”. Paciencia, paciencia, paciencia… ¡Un abrazo!

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